NEWS FROM THE WHIG CAMPAIGN - Acting on assurances from the State Whig Central Committee that there was plenty of time to mount a Full, Frank, Free and Cordial Discussion of the Issues prior to the opening of the polls on Tuesday, November 11, your Whig Candidates for legislature from this District commenced knocking on doors November 5. We (Your Columnist and Miss Louella Upworth- Pennywell) have been assiduous in courting the voters, although we find them somewhat bemused by our bearing of the Glorious Whig Banner, and somewhat stand-offish when we attempt to persuade them of the correctness of our views and the superiority of the Presidential Slate of Clay & Webster. A few, benighted souls that they are, have even made so bold as to laugh at us when we assure them that the Glorious Whig Ticket shall triumph on the second Tuesday in November, our voting day of old! So certain are Whigs at all levels of our anticipated triumph that we have hired the Grand Army of the Republic Hall for a celebratory soiree on the evening of the 11th. The East Roxbury Whig Committee Kazoo Band will provide the music, the Great-Aunts of the Mothers of the Cousins of King Philip's War will lay on a lavish buffet, and Mr. J.B. Nimble Frimble will entertain with droll stories. Cap'n. Cuthbert Quigley- Quimper, Pyrate (Ret.) has volunteered to furnish several hogsheads of his best threeweek old rum.

It is hoped that Northfield's Town Clerk will be on hand to announce the results and crown the winners with wreaths of myrtle, although this could not be confirmed on November 4 as she was out of the office all day.

THE NORTHFIELD POKEY - Owing to the unfortunate proximity of a gallon of Old Glog to a 1951 Nash Metropolitan and a flock of geese, Bertram "Snooters" Prongfelter will be cooling his heels (and other parts of his anatomy) in durance vile for the foreseeable future. Third Constable Gulliver Waffleblaster reports that Prongfelter was apparently celebrating his release from the West Roxbury lock-up, whence he had been incarcerated on charges of impersonating a state liquor inspector. Residents of the southeast corner of the north side of West Northfield Center aver that following the collision, there was a veritable blizzard of feathers. It is expected that many residents will be laying their heads on down pillows as a result.