NOT MUCH NOOZE THIS WEEK – Well, all you readertype persons, we are hating to treat you so disappointably, but Miss Gutthwacker gots to tell you, there is not much nooze in this burg this week, on account of there is not much activitytype stuff going on, what with them three selectmentals all stuck together up to the top of the tree all cover with Elmer’s glue. We spect they gonna be there for awhile, so Chief Nylon and Coach Naugahyde and Bob the attack cat gots free time to take care of personal type business, such as the Coach gotta go on a recruiting trip to get some new footsball players, and Chief Nylon gotta look for more work onna count of he got some of his town-type duties taken away from him while he out with the posse.

Who also got time next to his hand is Third Constable Waffleblaster, who we hear from our unimponderable source (Louie the Lip, if you is wanting to buy some informationable-type material) were looking for the guy who had all the nerve to set up a booth in front of the Mayonnaise Building and offer flight physicals for the low, low price of 19.99 dollars and cents each. See, the thing is, the guy say, they is lotsa peoples who is wanting to fly a air-type plane but who could of not get a physical from the regular type doctor who do them (Mickey Prickles, who are a acupuncturist-type doctor, the kind with all them needles, you know?), so they gots to find someone else, and that is what this guy Prickles do, is travel around with his wagon and set up in these one-and-ahalf of-a-horse towns and do physicals. The Lip tell us the guy got a line of people out to there and more coming all the time, blind guys with canes and deaf guys with ear trumpets, so on, so forth, and they go into the little tent on one side and go out the other with their certificatetype thing saying they is okay to fly, all for the low, low price of 19.99 (which is dollars and cents, as we already tell you). Also, for a small extra cost, this guy will make up flight paths for them people who is not smart enough to do they own (of which there is quite a lot, he say), and tune up motor-type cycles so they got the proper 38 point six ratio.

Everything going pretty good, Louie say, when Oliver Sudden, what do you THINK happen? Well, if you guess that the Pet Casket King show up and make a hullabaloo-type disturbance, you will be right! See, the Pet Casket King got a license to fly, what he got the old-fashion way, and he got the idea everybody else ought to of done it the way he did, study 25 years, read everything, go to Mickey Prickles for his physical, and fly. Well, he all bended out of shape and he go holler for the Constable, who were down to Mother McGillicuddy’s watering hole checking out the quality of the spirituous beverages. So, the constable come along (not being very happy about being interrupt in his duty, as you could of probly guess) and go to the Mayonnaise Building to see what is going on. The PCK get into a big fight with the guy in the tent, being a very agrumentable-type person, you know, so the Constable gots to step in and break it up. Then when he get the PCK calm down, the Constable write some tickets to the guy for driving a unregister wagon, not having tail light on his horse, too large of a tent for too small of a space, causing numerous persons to assemble for commercial purposes with nefarious intent, and worstly of all, getting the Pet Casket King all rile up (it take a long time to unrile him, you know). So, the guy pack up his wagon and leave, and the Pet Casket King go back to his factory, and all these blind and deaf guys gonna be able to fly airplanes. Isn’t this EXCITING, readerpersons?

MISS GUTTHWACKER GOT SOME PLANS – Miss Gutthwacker got some excitabletype nooze that she want to share with her devotable readers. On account of we is such a good unicycle rider, of which we gots lots of trophy to show for it, we was able to get the Intergalactic Unicycle Tour de Farce to come to town in a couple of weeks, which is good, because it will be here when the First Annual Relay for Hangnail Prevention is going on, and Hangnail Prevention is your Miss Gutthwacker’s mostest favorite charity, so it will be REALLY excitable to me to have these two things going on to once, down in front of the Mayonnaise Building on the square. Miss Gutthwacker promise you some mighty fine unicycle riding (hers, she mean) and all kinds of tricks, so stay tune and buy your ticket now!